Online dating can be a minefield – but it can also lead to true love. If you’re new to the world of dating apps, here are my top tips for getting started.
1. Choose photos that reflect who you are now. No one wants to see an image from five or even ten years ago. Avoid too many filters and try to choose a photo where you are happy, smiling and relaxed.
2. Create a profile that says something. Ditch the overdone clichés and be specific about what matters to you, whether that’s your faith, your hobbies or even your collection of mint condition 1999 Pokémon cards.
3. Be clear about your values. If faith is central to your life, be clear about it; don’t try to hide it. If you value honesty, ambition or kindness, say so.
4. Avoid being vague in your bio. Phrases like ‘lovin’ life!‘ say nothing about you. Include real-life examples such as ‘I like country walks, strong coffee and making homemade pizza’.
5. Be clear on your dealbreakers. If kids, church, or marriage are non-negotiables for you, you need to be upfront about this.
6. Use niche dating apps to your advantage. Whether it’s Christian dating, dating for over 40’s or dating other single parents you’re looking for, there’s a niche dating app for you.
7. You don’t owe anyone a reply. Getting weird vibes? Someone coming on too strong? You don’t have to reply just to be polite.
8. Embrace honesty and be yourself. It can be easy to talk ourselves up or downplay our better qualities. The best thing you can do is to simply be yourself.
9. Online dating is a starting point – nothing is promised. While we’d all like to meet the person of our dreams right away, finding a meaningful connection can take time.
10. Take breaks when needed. Dating shouldn’t feel like a full-time job. It’s okay to take a break.
11. Feel like you’re always doing the chasing? Take a pause. A healthy connection with someone shouldn’t require constant pursuit.
12. Watch out for Love Bombing. Telling you you’re perfect on a first date? Sending expensive gifts and flowers? It could be Love Bombing. It feels good at first, but it is often used as a manipulation tactic and is, therefore, a big red flag.
13. Get counsel. Dating issues? Sometimes getting an outside view from a trusted friend can help you see the wood for the trees.
14. A good first date doesn’t always mean there will be a second. As hard as it is, try not to get carried away too soon.
15. Try a video call first. Video calling is a perfect small step if you’re nervous about meeting in person or just want to get a feel for someone’s energy before meeting in real life.
16. Stick to your non-negotiables. If something is important to you, don’t push it aside just to keep a match with someone.
17. Mixed signals? Emotionally unavailable? Would you want a friend to be treated this way? If the answer is no, then it’s time to walk away.
18. Don’t ignore a spiritual mismatch. Even with great conversation and strong chemistry, a mismatch in faith can lead to issues and heartache further down the line.
19. Safety First. Always meet in a public place and let someone you trust know where you’re going. Have a full phone battery and a taxi app downloaded on your phone.
20. Don’t be afraid to walk away. Even if someone looks great on paper, always trust your instincts. Your gut feeling is probably right.
21. Take your time. You don’t have to know by date two if they’re ‘The One’.
22. Look at how they treat people ‘below’ them. Are they polite and friendly towards the waiting staff or barista? Kindness to everyone shows their true character rather than turning on the charm just for you.
23. It’s okay to unmatch. Protect your peace; it matters more than being polite.
24. Keep your sense of humour. Online dating can be weird, tricky and intense. Bad date? You’ll laugh about it one day.
25. Have fun. Dating should be fun; it shouldn’t feel like a chore. Embrace the excitement and possibility.
Let’s be honest, online dating isn’t perfect, and you might have to kiss a few frogs (or swipe past a few dodgy profiles!) before you meet your prince.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth giving it a shot. Who knows, true love could be just around the corner.